A step into my life.

Personal thoughts

2008-10-18T18:48:00.003+08:00

Sad, but true.

Peoeple around me, are doing so well at the moment, busy with this and that, spending the nice times with their loved ones and friends.

I'm always happy and glad, to hear that whever i asked how they are doing.

But somehow after that, here i am, reflecting on myself, i tend to be very sad. Sigh..

I don't like

2008-10-15T20:00:00.003+08:00

People to see me in agony.

I'm bloody tired, really.

I question, why bad people, often get the good things in life.

Can anyone please show me right direction???

-I'm glad i knew you (:-

HRC with gays

2008-09-14T03:07:00.005+08:00

(two gays)
Needless to say, hardrock cafe. Bingo. Yusuke and vince, lucky winners. Got to wear the sumo wrestlers underwear and head-wear. Hilarious shit. Caught up with the many fags.

Great food, great ambience, great people. What more can i say????

(:

Yesterday and today

2008-09-13T00:46:00.002+08:00

Yusuke, came to Singapore. Met with up with the gays for a day of zoo-ing and at night safari.
Good stuff. Will upload the photos i've taken soon. I'm very tired today.

However, i had irregular heartbeats again, almost drained the whole life out of me, when i was at the zoo, while looking at the white tigers.
Such signs were never good. And always bad things follows. Today, although having a great time in town and catch 4bia, but after that, i was feeling quite sad, very lonely, like how i used to feel, or should i put, felt since young. Seeing people around me, even outsiders, passer-bys having so much fun, with smiles on their faces, i'll feel kind neglected. I don't know how to describe this kind of feeling, but its not good. I thought i would have gotten rid of it, but bad things just keeps coming back no matter what.

Last of all, 4bia's good stuff (:

Day in town yet again.

2008-09-10T02:29:00.004+08:00

Awesome lunch at Far East plaza. Window shopped.

Followed the hypebeast for his shopping trip. Two pairs of shoes from LE, two hdln tees. Awesome pick-ups.

Hardcore action at parklane mall again. Awesome dinner followed by rochor road bean curd!

Examination results. Courtesy from me, _|_ _|_.
100% certain that i'll re-take q-method. For maths and economics, i just hope i will pass.

Looking forward to the post-poned fishing/crabbing trip!

Gonna crash and burn now.

Pictures to the one i promised (:

2008-09-07T18:51:00.009+08:00

1st of all, its been quite a while since i've got such a badass haircut. Skip the decent look man.
A middle finger to those ah beng power rangers with dyed fringe, or whatever.

I'm pretty lazy to dig out the oldies, and lazy to take the external hard disk from my sister.
Sooo, these are a few of the many taken.

Lastly, today went to town, with benedick and jianweiii. Happy birthday you FBFF! Lunch at Mr bean's. Some crazy action at parklane mall and off home to crash.

Day of slackin in town

2008-09-06T22:43:00.005+08:00

Went out in a rush, didn't bother so much, so my hair sucked. Mum almost drove me to the brink of insanity in the morning.

However, awesome day in town.

Hey!!!

2008-09-06T06:20:00.006+08:00

Its been quite a while since i've blogged.

Been busy with "exams" or more like playing hard during that period of time, rotting off at home as well as hanging out. Even played games. ( Shitty that i've started to play back games. Nothing else to do at home! ) However, i just don't feel the same satisfaction and the joy when playing back the same games, which brought me endless joy during my secondary school and JC days. ):

But!! Its good that i've been constantly reading, even during train rides, newsweek or times magazines are there to accompany me, improve my lousy english and to keep myself updated with the latest news! Caught a number of pretty interesting documentaries too. Such as the one i caught a few hours ago. "Last secrets of the axis powers". Somehow, a history student like me, will always be fascinated by such a topic. If you want to know more about it, just ask me! I'm more than willing to share with you. Can't wait for monday night tho, haven't been able to catch " Underground worlds" for quite sometime.

All that i can say is, altho i'd be fine, for almost the whole day, its always during such a time, when i'm alone in my room, i'd feel terrible. Sheeesh. You know what i mean (: Yes, i'm a fool, always will be one and my stupidity matches none.

and who's the one who left that comment on my previous entry?! Thanks

bloggie = best friend

2008-08-26T16:35:00.001+08:00

I don't have anyone whom i can confide to you,

so i'll confide to you (:

Go away! Don't come back.

2008-08-26T02:41:00.003+08:00

Haven't been posting in a while.. so yea (:

Anyway, i didn't have headaches, dizzyness and of course irregular heartbeats for like two or three weeks already. I'm very happy about it.

However, yesterday, while i was studying for my maths, when i just stood up to grab a book from the shelf, my irregular heartbeats were back and it was super fast i swear. Hated that moment alot, to think it was gone for quite a while. Arrg. But it went off pretty fast too! Less than 5 minutes.

right after that, i've got a bad headache. Sheeesh, guess it will just will not go away.

Today's maths examination = KO-ed. But should be able to pass (:

Andddd i really don't like my mum, she's don't even want to speak to me now. Always throwing random tantrums and stares, randomly picks on me. Scolds me for simple things like not switching off the lights in the room etc.

-Sean

I'm feeling very fucked up

2008-08-19T01:32:00.001+08:00

Yes, i am.

When will things be really good? Permanently.
I don't want just to have two months where everyone walked that lonely path with me and they leave me alone again.

Wise man say...

2008-07-26T15:44:00.001+08:00

A nice song to share with everyone. (:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-H5WZ1q1lZA

Lyrics are as followed:

Wise men say only fools rush in
But I cant help falling in love with you
Shall I stay
Would it be a sin
If I cant help falling in love with you

Like a river flows surely to the sea
Darling so it goes
Some things are meant to be
Take my hand, take my whole life too
For I cant help falling in love with you

Like a river flows surely to the sea
Darling so it goes
Some things are meant to be
Take my hand, take my whole life too
For I cant help falling in love with you
For I cant help falling in love with you

Hero or villain?

2008-07-21T03:08:00.008+08:00

I rather be a villain from now on.

Yes, i love helping those people in need, be there for those who are feeling down and out, i'll always do my best to help them. Even strangers.

I used to be a hero, who is able sacrifice my own needs for others.

I never asked for anything in return, however i lost everything instead.

I have to go through problems after problems, which no one could understand.

So is that what a hero gets in return?
For being brave, for keeping he's problems away, for helping others, for bringing others joy while he suffers alone?

Brand new start!

2008-07-15T00:40:00.004+08:00

Brand new start. Everything's the past.
Live free, die young and hard.
Lesson 1 learned. Time to move on. No use pondering over what's lost.

For things are bound to screw up at times, just don't make the same mistake.
Makes you a better person yea.

(:

hmm.. giving up?

2008-07-08T22:11:00.004+08:00

Bad news, yet again. quite used to it already though.

i am just so confused because after trying so hard... i still don't know what the future holds and the thoughts of giving up just keep coming into my mind.

but well, after a while of ranting and thinking, i've decided to not to say yes to fate. even if i fail, at least i can say, I HAVE TRIED. I will try hard, not to give up.

just hope, all these troubles will end soon.

anyway, today is another real bad day. had a bad headache and still very feverish.

Sean.

I remember

2008-07-06T22:55:00.006+08:00

I'm typing this down, even though at this period of time, i'm away.

For these wise words, i would like to share with everyone.

During my secondary school life and even now, there have been ups and few downs. But during my down times, they are really bad. I shall not speak of them though.

I remembered once, i was at that catholic church at siglap hill, doing some soul searching and sitting there, alone. A priest sat beside me, for i looked very troubled during then. After a short chat, i asked him, " I have many problems of my own, which i know are insignificant, but i have one main problem, i can't understand. What is the difference between a christian and a catholic?"

He answered it with ease. Said "There is no difference at all, there are no boundaries. Religion means nothing, the most important thing is that you must believe in whatever that is right."

For me, i believe in whatever that is right. I have regretted doing so many unkind and bad things in the past. It was just a very bad solution to ease the troubles and pains that i have gone through. Thus, I have decided to change, mend my ways to become a better person. Problems and troubles are just trivial matters now. The most important task, is to overcome the bad side of myself. I rather die trying than giving up. Hope i will be blessed with the courage, endurance and strength to do that and keep my mind away from evil temptations.

"There's no mountain i can't climb. There's no tower too high. No plane i can't learn how to fly."

-Sean

Something to share with everyone ( Its too late for tears )

2008-07-01T22:43:00.001+08:00

Don't waste your tears on me, now that I'm gone.
Don't stand at my graveside and sing me a song.
You didn't come visit me while I was living.
So why bother acting now, like you are grieving?
You dressed all up fancy to come to my burial.
You said words of comfort, as if it were natural.
You made sure folks noticed you there at my grave.
You made a great show of the flowers you gave.

I lay in the hospital, lonely and sad.
To have you come visit, would have made me so glad.
But you said, "No time. I'm too busy living."
You thought all along that I'd be forgiving.
You took it for granted that I'd understand
That you couldn't bother to come hold my hand.
Well, now I've passed on. It's too late, my friend.
Your teardrops and flowers will not make amends.

I can't see your bouquets, folks, now that I'm dead.
I won't see the gravestone that's placed at my head.
I can't hear the eulogy the preacher is saying.
I won't know the cost for my funeral they're paying.
I don't care at all who shows up at my grave.
It won't make a difference if a big wake they gave.

The flowers, the gravestone, the praises, the cost:
These mean nothing at all. On me they're now lost.
So you who are living, please heed what I say:
If you have a sick friend, go visit today.
If you wait for tomorrow, it may be too late.
Please, friend, take the time. Do not hesitate.

- Helen Dowd -

Check out my kicks.

2008-07-01T19:58:00.000+08:00

My prized shoes and stuffs.

Retarded day

2008-06-28T23:53:00.000+08:00

Hanged out in town with ben and haresh.
Took a few photos. hah.

Wooo, someone's phone got stolen!

"I'm shy, he's not"

A Saturday night of fun, went home feeling so tired, but watched TV till late.

A little man-man-man chat on MSN.

2008-06-26T03:35:00.000+08:00

After that sad incident that happened, two of my good poly friends, Ben and Jian wei opened a chat window and chatted with me for almost 1hour+, reaching two hours.

I told them about my problems, i've faced throughout the two weeks. What they have done, was really more than what i expected from them. Maybe, these are what u really call FRIENDS. They even sent me several links to youtube to some very nice songs to encourage me. I'm really touched.

After talking to them, i was feeling alot more confident and encouraged. Although i'm now facing one of the toughest difficulties in life, i will not give up hope, i will push till the end. And i hope i will get back what God gaved to me when i asked him for an angel.

Something to share with everyone. :)

two songs...

Deep purple - soldier of fortune http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VGHbzP96WWA
Steel heart - she's gone http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FxnGaURm3B8

and...
P- Persevere
U- Until
S- Something
H- Happens

ENJOY! :)

Everything went so terribly wrong.

2008-06-25T03:29:00.012+08:00

Meaningful MMS from her.

That special night at Changi, after hanging out around the fishing spot near Changi beach club.
Picture taken of that special her!

Well, i've gone through two weeks of utter despair. But after "those two incidents" i've found out that i have yet to go through the worse yet.
Fell out with that special her. Its my fault, well first time being in a relationship. I screwed up big time. Somehow i guess i am insensitive and bad in someway or another. So... this is one of the major setbacks that i've got to overcome. Hopefully all will turn out fine. :)

Inactivity / special moments

2008-06-18T19:32:00.002+08:00

Sorry bloggie. For my inactivity. =p

Well, known this great girl on this dumbass website called WhoLivesNearYou since 7th April. Had dinner with her numerous times, spent alot of special moments with her, talked about anything under the sun and even teased and dissed her almost everyday!

Starting to like her alot, enjoyed her company and needless to say love her smile and her bracers.

Well, nothing much to blog about because there are just too many things to say! I don't know where to start! Real happy times, forever in my 1 GB memory.

Sean

Crabbin' baby

2008-06-09T20:46:00.002+08:00

This guy is sacrificed for the crabbies. Smelly like hell. But King Firdy handles it well like a pro.

Went crabbin with king crabber! Full day of doing stupid things.
We actually caught a gigantic crab, TWICE. But it was too big, it got out of the cage easily and fell back into the water. But you won't escape our grasp. King crabber Firdaus is coming for you! Ended the day by eating nasi lemak and chilling out with a big glass of sugar cane juice. Heavenly.

Screw school.

2008-05-15T20:03:00.000+08:00

Boring day in school, as always.

Ben drew this shit on the table. This ain't vandalism, its ART!
Spot Ben, jiannn weeiii and me.

the whores

happy birdday to me. 18! WOO!

2008-05-09T00:35:00.000+08:00

Big day for me! 18th birthday! Hanged out with Ben and Jianwei.

Toast from the two kings. Thanks a million bros.

I'm wearing like a street slut that day.

Lunch at BigO

A great day indeed, got many happy birthday messages from old friends. Received two birthday cards, which drove me to tears. Serious!
Bird-day wish: Hope i will meet someone who will be there for me soon.

Catch of a lifetime

2008-05-02T16:03:00.002+08:00

Well here is a story to share with all of you.

Catch Of A Lifetime

He was 11 years old and went fishing every chance he got from a dock at his family's cabin on an island in the middle of a New Hampshire lake. On the day before the bass season opened, he and his Father were fishing early in the evening, catching some fish and perch with worms. Then he tied on a small silver lure and practiced casting. The lure struck the water and caused colored ripples in the sunset, thin silver ripples as the moon rose over the lake. When his pole doubled over, he knew something huge was on the other end. His Father watched with admiration as the boy skillfully worked the fish along side the dock. Finally, he very gingerly lifted the exhausted fish from the water. It was the largest one he had ever seen, but it was a bass.

The boy and his Father looked at the handsome fish, gills playing back and forth in the moonlight. The Father lit a match and looked at his watch. It was 10 p.m. - two hours before the season opened. He looked at the fish, then at the boy. "You'll have to put it back, Son," he said.

"Dad!" cried the boy.

"There will be another fish," said his father.

"Not as big as this one," cried the boy.

He looked around the lake. No other fishermen or boats were around in the moonlight. He looked again at his Father. Even though no one had seen them, nor could anyone ever know what time he caught the fish, the boy could tell by the clarity of his Father's voice that the decision was not negotiable. He slowly worked the hook out of the lip of the huge bass and lowered it into the black water. The creature swished it's powerful body and disappeared. The boy suspected that never again would he see such a great fish.

That was 34 years ago. Today, the boy is a successful architect in New York City. His Father's cabin is still there on the island in the middle of the lake. He takes his own son and daughters fishing from the same dock. He was right. He has never again caught such a magnificent fish as the one he landed that night long ago. But he does see that same fish - again and again - every time he comes up against a question of ethics. For, as his Father taught him, ethics are simple matters of right and wrong. It is only the practice of ethics that is difficult.

Do we do right when no one is looking? Do we refuse to cut corners to get the design in on time? Or refuse to trade stocks based on information that we aren't supposed to have? We would if we were taught to put the fish back when we were young. For we would have learned the truth. The decision to do right lives fresh and fragrant in our memory. It is a story we will proudly tell our friends and our grandchildren. Not about how we had a chance to beat the system and took it, but about how we did the right thing and were forever strengthened.

Jianwei, pooned hard

2008-04-28T19:30:00.000+08:00

Picture of Ben taken with our featured "JW"
Cool eh, check the print on the t-shirt, funny shit.
The day before i wore the same t-shirt to visit JianWei at work, at sim lim square.

The print on the t-shirt. Find something in common between the first and second picture?
Tan Jian Wei, i will be wearing that t-shirt everyday to school! Beware!

Crabbin' - Jellyfish killinn

2008-04-15T23:08:00.000+08:00

Went crabbin with da pimps, Benedictttt and Fearless Firdaus

Check this hawtt guy out.

Firdaus spotted someone's bait and decided to steal it. Got he's legs and pants all dirty and muddy. Fearless him spent nearly 15mins catching he's "prized possession" while Ben and me chilled under the shade. Finally to find out that it was a bag of thrash. Check he's middle finger out. Wahahahaha.

Played with this naughty and lazy cat which kept yawning and sleeping for the whole day!

-Obscene- Mating season!

This guy is screwed big time. ROAR!

We came, we saw, we conquered THE CRABS AND JELLYFISH!
It was a full day of fun, rained for abit, but it didn't stop us from having fun. Was super tired and finally left after 7+ to 8.